Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Happy New Year, my friends!! The last few months have been a time for reflection, questioning, and exercising the introspective muscle. It feels, for me, all that contemplation and work came to a head in the last two weeks. My time home for the holidays (more on that Thursday) was a very necessary reset. I came down with the flu (I assume my body saying, "Lady!!! You need to lay in bed for a few days and organize all these thoughts. And support the Kleenex corp.") and thought long and hard about 2016. I thought about times I was proud of myself, and moments when I could have done better. I contemplated what brought me joy and happiness, and what induced stress, anger, and mistakes.
What hurt me? When it feels as if I am not a priority to my village. And I know Eleanor said they need your consent to feel inferior, but sometimes love (platonic and romantic) just hurts. When that cute guy you're dating doesn't make the effort to schedule a date more than 48-hours in advance, that hurts. If a good friend is continuously busy and can't make an impromptu wine night, that hurts. What do you mean you have a dinner every night this week and can't get together until next Saturday?? Don't you realize I'm stressed with work and the lawyer hasn't text me back in 72 hours??? I need wine and your counsel RIGHT NOW! And that happened to me in 2016. Truth is, I think I did a lot of that to other people in 2016. I was the disengaged love interest. I was the overly scheduled and busy friend.
I became the person who saw everything in her life is an obligation. A life that is incredibly privileged, healthy, and full.
It all came down to two common denominators: Opportunity and Priorities.
Passing on, or taking, opportunities either upset me or made me extremely happy.
Overbooking my calendar, or selective No's and spending my resources (time, energy, love, dolla dolla bills) on what matters most to me, either made things feel like an obligation or living my absolute best life.
This year I want to take the right opportunities. Maybe that is a date with an unlikely match. Perhaps a last-minute trip to Seattle. I want to take on the right clients that are intellectually challenging and help me grow. I need to have impromptu dinner parties or hikes. I want to take that international trip or learn how to make superior sushi.
To take these opportunities, I need to prioritize. I can't be forcing connections or going on a 3rd date with the nice accountant with whom sparks are nowhere to be found. The calendar can't be so booked that free weekends are non-existent. Trusting my gut needs to be factored into decision make. Spending and saving needs to provide me with the runway for those trips, classes, and hosting -- instead of obligation bridal showers or saying yes to group events I don't want to attend.
So how am I doing this?
What are your plans? Did you make resolutions? I'd love to hear what you'll be doing in 2017 and how you plan on pulling it off.
What hurt me? When it feels as if I am not a priority to my village. And I know Eleanor said they need your consent to feel inferior, but sometimes love (platonic and romantic) just hurts. When that cute guy you're dating doesn't make the effort to schedule a date more than 48-hours in advance, that hurts. If a good friend is continuously busy and can't make an impromptu wine night, that hurts. What do you mean you have a dinner every night this week and can't get together until next Saturday?? Don't you realize I'm stressed with work and the lawyer hasn't text me back in 72 hours??? I need wine and your counsel RIGHT NOW! And that happened to me in 2016. Truth is, I think I did a lot of that to other people in 2016. I was the disengaged love interest. I was the overly scheduled and busy friend.
I became the person who saw everything in her life is an obligation. A life that is incredibly privileged, healthy, and full.
Passing on, or taking, opportunities either upset me or made me extremely happy.
Overbooking my calendar, or selective No's and spending my resources (time, energy, love, dolla dolla bills) on what matters most to me, either made things feel like an obligation or living my absolute best life.
This year I want to take the right opportunities. Maybe that is a date with an unlikely match. Perhaps a last-minute trip to Seattle. I want to take on the right clients that are intellectually challenging and help me grow. I need to have impromptu dinner parties or hikes. I want to take that international trip or learn how to make superior sushi.
To take these opportunities, I need to prioritize. I can't be forcing connections or going on a 3rd date with the nice accountant with whom sparks are nowhere to be found. The calendar can't be so booked that free weekends are non-existent. Trusting my gut needs to be factored into decision make. Spending and saving needs to provide me with the runway for those trips, classes, and hosting -- instead of obligation bridal showers or saying yes to group events I don't want to attend.
So how am I doing this?
Well, I've upgraded my wine purchases to the $14-20 range. Why? I'd rather spend a little more or drink a little less, while enjoying an interesting bottle of vino and not having a headache the next morning.
I'm no longer a token bridesmaid.
I won't be saying yes to each and every event or dinner.
I have invested in a spin studio membership. This gives me energy and I love the structure.
I renewed that passport!
My scheduling format has changed to allow for more clients and specific project types.
I'm learning French!!! Thanks, Duolingo!
Booked a trip to Crater Lake!
No takeout or delivery in January!!!!
What are your plans? Did you make resolutions? I'd love to hear what you'll be doing in 2017 and how you plan on pulling it off.
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